Birthing Goddess blog

A journey to VBAC

2011-09-08T22:19:00.000-07:00

For all the Very Beautiful And Courageous Mamas out there...

My Journey to a VBAC from Lindsey Meehleis on Vimeo.

Singing in labor...

2010-09-28T11:57:00.000-07:00

Thanks to the wonderful Laurie Brant for sharing this:

I'd heard of women singing throught their labor but this video is absolutely beautiful and inspiring. I'm pretty busy these days but I still have a thousand things I'd like to share on this blog so stay tuned!

Birth is beautiful when undisturbed...

2010-08-31T19:19:00.000-07:00

This is why I believe in birthing at home...

How do cesarean births affect women and their babies?

2010-08-12T16:35:00.000-07:00

I recently talked about my friend's elective cesarean for her breech baby. Recently, we had an open-hearted chat about how she had been feeling since the birth of her daughter. She admitted that she had gone through a difficult period of depressed mood, crying and feeling like she wasn't bonding with her baby girl. She felt like she was missing something. Although she acknowledges that no one pressured her to have a cesarean and that she took that decision fully informed, I think she has pangs of regret for not experiencing labour and vaginal birth.

She is only beginning to realise the implications of having that scarlet C on her uterus. Before giving birth, it was hard to grasp that cesareans do have a long-term impact on her reproductive health. Cesareans do lead to more miscarriages and placenta issues in ulterior pregnancies. They may also lead to a number of other complications, but reading about it is quite different than experiencing it in your own body.

I suddenly remembered Suzanne Arms urging us to protect our sisters from harm and from being cut open unnecessarily. I suddenly felt like I had somewhat failed my friend. In my decision not to advocate for natural birth in any aggressive way, did I let her down? It's a difficult call to make. Breech birth is something that holds so much unknown... I only very recently managed to get my hands on "A Breech in the System" and felt really compelled by Karin's fight to give birth naturally. I felt it was unfair that my friend, who was offered the possibility to birth her breech baby vaginally, chose an elective cesarean while other women who wish to birth vaginally their breech babies are not always offered the possibility by their local hospitals or care-system.

Still, my concern today is to help my friend deal with the aftermath of this birth. I just celebrated the first anniversary of my son's birth and it reactivated a lot of pain and sorrow. It actually reactivated something in my son too. We had to deal with two very difficult weeks of sleepless nights. Our osteopath felt like his birth trauma was giving him quite a bit of grief.

All this led me to think about the way cesareans are portrayed like benign interventions when they're not. They have long term consequences both for mothers and babies. Many of which are still unknown. I would be interested in finding out if some research has been done on behavioural and developmental differences between cesarean babies, operative vaginal delivered babies and natural vaginal birth babies. I know that cesareans have been linked to more risks of respiratory illnesses in children but the more I speak with mothers the more I get the feeling that there are many more consequences. One mother was actually convinced that her cesarean-born son's issues with substance abuse later in life were somehow linked to his birth trauma. She was adamant that there was a clear difference between her cesarean-born son and her other children, born vaginally and without operative interventions. This is something I'm hearing more and more. The question of bonding is an important one as well. Psychologists have known for a long time how important a strong attachment is for a baby's development. With more and more mothers having a hard time bonding with their children, are we setting the stage for a generation or more of emotionally scarred children as well?

The consequences on mothers are also to be considered. Long-term pain or numbness around the scar area, depression, PTSD, and a sense that your body has failed you does not make for happy women. Dealing with the physical and emotional aftermath of a cesarean birth can take up a lot of precious time and energy. Healing is sometimes a long process and not a linear one.

This is something that should be considered as cesarean rates are sky-rocketing in many countries. There are already so many things that negatively impact our children's development... Current birth models are obviously causing more harm than good. I am curious about a book that was recently published “Birth Models that Work”. I’m going to order it and see what it offers in terms of alternatives to our current model.

In the meantime, we need to think about the best way we can support mothers and babies that have experiences difficult births. Nurse and midwife visits are obviously not enough. Support groups are not always available and some mothers are not even aware that they exist. What can we do to nurture those pairs back to health and support them throughout their healing journey? As I look at all the pregnancy books I’ve been reading as part of my childbirth educator degree, I see that chapters on caesareans usually focus on the actual surgery and offer only little advice about healing, with a few mentions about PPD and PTSD but not much in terms of scar care, emotional healing or tips on bonding with baby, fewer yet offer information about long-term issues and how to deal with them. I must say, more and more are mentioning VBAC. Yeah! We still really need to rethink the way caesareans are both portrayed to the public and practiced by medical staff. Education is only one aspect of the problem. There are many other aspects that need to be dealt with. Too many women and their babies are suffering the consequences of our lack of insight on these matters.

It's World Breastfeeding Week!

2010-08-03T21:58:00.000-07:00

Hello beautiful mamas,

I haven't posted in ages here despite having tons to write about! I had a very busy month of July, attending the Normal Labour and Birth conference, spending time with amazing women like Hélène Vadeboncoeur (Vbactivist), the wonderful Gloria Lemay, midwife extraordinaire and Suzanne Arms, the inspiring author of Immaculate Deception, of which a new edition has just been published... But more on all of that very soon I promise!

Just wanted to talk about the World Breastfeeding Week. Check out their amazing 10 steps to ensure success in breastfeeding. Breastfeeding was not always easy for me and little Liam but with time and support, we managed to work things out into a lovely relationship. This is baby Liam falling asleep and slowly latching off. For Breastfeeding week, I'll be spending some time talking about social booby traps in French, on my other online lair. This is a post I've been spending much time on, because of the recent feminist attacks in France on breastfeeding and natural birth advocates. I'll try and translate it when I find some time, but hang in there because it won't be before another couple of weeks. My little family is heading up to Northern Vancouver Island to spend some time with the orcas I studied for so long. I can't wait to be up there in the wild again!

How are you mamas celebrating all things boobylicious?

The Birth House: a must-read!

2010-07-19T09:50:00.000-07:00

It's summer her in Vancouver. Which means plenty of long, warm hours outside whether on the beach or in the garden. The perfect time to settle down with a good book! I recently purchased The Birth House by Ami McKay. Several friends, some not even involved in the birthing community, had recommended this book. Because I loved my stay in the Maritimes and in particular in Nova Scotia, a province that reminds me a lot of my mother's Brittany, I thought it would be a good pick for some summer reading and because I am a bit of history buff this turned out to be a great pick!

I couldn't put the book down! The tapestry woven by the author around these turn of the twentieth century women in rural Nova Scotia is absolutely stunning. The story of these lay midwives and the beginnings of the medical overtaking of births is beautifully told and gripping. You can really relate to these women fighting for the right to give birth their way! It's funny that after so long it seems like nothing has really changed... A predominantly male medical establishment still wants to rule the way women "should" give birth, pushing unwanted interventions and disregarding midwives as no more than witches... The doctor depicted in the book seems completely clueless at what really is at stake in birth and more intent on making money on poor people's credulity.

If you haven’t had the chance to read The Birth House, I highly recommend it. Even if you are not so much into the whole birthing movement, it’s a wonderful read! I just added it to the Birthing Goddess Library. You can just go to the Women's Health and Midwifery section to order a copy.

Enjoy your week beautiful mamas!

Had to share this...

2010-07-17T20:05:00.000-07:00

Just a reminder that all pregnant mamas out there deserve choices in childbirth... Many thanks to the wonderful yoga instructor and former doula Lori Lucas for sharing this video!

Why the face of advocacy has to change

2010-07-16T20:34:00.000-07:00

I was just reading Michelle beautiful post about where she is at now on birth in her life. At the same time, I was browsing through The Unecesarean's open thread today.

I thought I would add a bit to my previous post, the one about my friend choosing to have an elective cesarean for her breech baby. I cannot honestly say I didn't feel a tad disappointed that she chose the cesarean over the vaginal birth. But because I know she took the time to weigh all the pros and cons and made her decision fully informed, I respect her choice. Before she found out about her baby's breech position, she had already chosen to give birth at the hospital, with a doctor. I should stress that her doctor is probably more of an advocate of natural birth than some midwives! He is quite a Doctor Wonderful himself! She felt safe to have her baby with him and we discussed at length interventions, means of pain relief and so on. She is a very educated women and certainly not clueless about the comings and goings of hospital births. Of course, women are able to birth breech babies vaginally but as an old midwife I know once said “breech babies can be cheeky troublemakers!”. So I try my best to understand my friend’s fears and concerns that a vaginal birth could have meant injuries to her of her precious little one. Like many advocates, biting my tongue and listening carefully before blurting out whatever goes through my mind has become a second nature.

After spending many years volunteering and working in the environmental movement, I experienced a difficult burn-out. Many of the people I worked with were passionate. So passionate they found it hard to understand that other people were not as concerned as they were by this or that particular issue. From saving the Amazonian rainforest, to the plight of whales, gorillas or elephants, the issues were compelling and necessary to address. However, after many years of experience, I can tell you that badgering people because they haven’t made the same choices as you have won’t convince them to make a positive change in their lives. You have to give people credit, they are able to understand issues and take action when they feel compelled to do so by inspiring people and positive thinking. They will not feel compelled by people who talk and act as if their standpoint was the only acceptable alternative. Those people who are quick to judge others harshly end up with a narrow-mind and seem unable to embrace the larger picture and I’ve seen it over and over: they end up being detrimental to their causes because they give a negative image of activists...

I have a gut feeling that the same kind of disparities can be found in the birthing movement and I’ve witnessed it a lot around breastfeeding advocacy... BTW, Dou-la-la just posted an amazing piece on the issue of being a lactivist.

Although I personally chose to give birth at home, unmedicated, I will not “push” my friends to make the same choice. I will give them information on homebirth, on its safety, but will support my friends who decide to take another road. Each one of us needs to have their own experience. Homebirth is great, and I will do it again given the opportunity, but I know it’s just not for every woman out there. Some births will always need to be dealt with high-tech medical support.

I really want to advocate for is freedom of choice. Freedom for women to choose how and where they want to give birth. Freedom to birth in the position they want, with the support they want. I want women’s rights to decide what pertains to their bodies to be respected. Those rights should be upheld everywhere women give birth, be it at home or in the hospital. Some of us are lucky to be educated and supported on our journey to give birth but some of us are not as lucky. It’s also for their sake that we should choose our battles wisely. It is not productive to fight amongst ourselves about whose birth is best, this is not a competition and no mother should feel like a lesser woman because she needed an epidural for terrible back labor after 36 hours or because she had a caesarean. Hell no! What we need to fight is the way some women are abused during labor and birth because someone thinks they know best. We need to fight unecessary interventions and mutilations, we need to make sure every woman on the journey to become a mother is in charge and has choices she can make in an informed way.

I think we really need to take advocacy to a whole new level and forgo the bitter bickering for new ways to engage women in what is still a battle for their rights. Women need to start demanding more of their care-providers, ask more questions and should not take no for an answer. We have to bring the mainstream media on board and change the way Hollywood persists to portray birth. We need to be both fierce and compassionate.

Back online with the story of a breech cesarean birth

2010-07-07T10:56:00.000-07:00

The past few weeks have been pretty busy. I went back to work, and discovered my power-pumping possibilities, even when flying around the country attending conferences! At the same time, Liam started having some separation anxiety, which translated in him being very clingy in the day and more night waking, with extra-long nursing sessions... It did not help that we were in the process of trying to get him to sleep all night in his crib (up to now, he would start the night there and end the night with us, after his 3AM nursing session...).

As new parents we are still struggling between our belief that cry-it-out is not an option for our family and the fact that nursing sessions that last more than an hour at night are just too much to handle for us as we are both back to work and I am still battling a virus that has lowered both my energy and my ability to cope with sleep deprivation... Anyways... We are still in the process of adjusting our schedules and our sleep arrangements to meet Liam's needs for more time with us and trying to help him regain his confidence and independance. My little boy is turning one in two weeks and getting big!

This is him in Montreal, where he flew with his dad to join me on a weekend while I was away working:

The first birth I was supposed to attend as part of my birth education classes ended up happening very differently than expected. My friend discovered her baby was breech at 38 weeks. Her doctor attempted an external cephalic version, but to no avail. She tried a number of different techniques to turn her baby head down but the little cheeky one decided to stay buttocks down... Her wonderful doctor, who is a true natural birth advocate, offered her the choice, she could attempt a vaginal delivery as recommended by the Canadian Society of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists, or schedule a c-section. Her doctor was upfront and explained the benefits and risks of both options. There are apparently doctors at BC Women's who still have the skill for vaginal breech births and would have been available for her birth. We also discussed the c-section and I provided her with all the information I have, without trying to influence her decision. After weighing the pros and the cons, her and her partner decided to go with an elective cesarean. Her doctor scheduled the cesarean on her due date and she had a beautiful baby girl yesterday! Because we were able to discuss at length cesareans and what happens in the OR, and thanks to the support of her doctor, she was fully prepared and was able to experience this birth in a loving and supported way. The first photo her partner sent us yesterday was of her and her beautiful baby girl skin to skin minutes after the birth!

My doula bag was all packed and ready but it'll have to wait for another beautiful mama... I wanted to share my friend's story because it shows us that choices in childbirth are possible and that if supported and prepared, parents can experience birth in a beautiful way, even when it turns out very different from what they had anticipated when they first learned about their pregnancy.

Now, if there are any Vancouver mamas out there who would like to have labour support but can't afford a doula, I'm still available throughout the summer free of charge! Don't hesitate to contact me!

Now, I'm off to enjoy the sun and warmth with my little boy who is quite excited to go to the beach!

A wake-up call

2010-06-14T21:15:00.001-07:00

A review of Breastfeeding with Comfort and Joy

2010-06-12T08:46:00.000-07:00

I was very fortunate to win a copy of Laura Keegan's Breastfeeding with Comfort and Joy in a giveaway: the book was in my mailbox yesterday! I must say I had read so many good reviews about it, I had no qualms whatsoever including it the virtual library of Birthing Goddess.

It's very obvious that Laura poured a lot of her own experience as a mother in this book. The photographs are stunningly beautiful and it's a book you would want to have on your bedside table as a breastfeeding companion. In addition to the useful information on proper positioning and how to deal with common issues, it also explains at length how to breastfeed twins, showing beautiful pictures of twins nursing, gazing at each other and at mom. The book really focuses on the relationship between mother and baby. The benefits of breastfeeding are well-documented so such an approach is a nice addition to your classical breastfeeding books.

There is a particular emphasis on nursing skin to skin. In a time when nursing mothers are often shamed for breastfeeding in public, it's nice to see photos of women and their babies in such a natural and peaceful moment. I remember how spending time skin to ski really helped my son get over the hurdles of our early breastfeeding issues. One of our favorite moments of the day is still when we both settle in a warm bath for a long evening nursing session. It helps us both wind down and get ready for sleep. I cherish those moments with my baby because I know they will only last a short time in his life.

As I read on my newsfeeds about mothers who were harassed for breastfeeding in malls or at ballgames, it's nice to see a book portraying breastfeeding in such a beautiful way! We are at a time where breastfeeding is still shunned by many because of our love/hate relationship with women's breasts and nudity. Showing around this kind of book may help slowly change absurd mentalities. I am more than certain this will be a great teaching tool for prenatal and breastfeeding classes! I'm actually on my way to share it with a pregnant friend! Many, many thanks to the lovely Laura for this feel-good book!

Skin to skin in the OR and breastfeeding tips

2010-06-07T22:22:00.000-07:00

Here's a great video posted by Laura from Breastfeeding with Comfort and Joy. As I'm just about to send off my first set of answers for my Lamaze certification and some of them dealt with breastfeeding and skin to skin, this was perfect timing! Enjoy!

Blogosphere!

2010-06-03T09:18:00.000-07:00

Hello beautiful mamas!

I feel so blessed! Kerry, the wonderful mama who blogs at Cruchy Carpets and on Wet Coast Women, was kind to interview me and profile me on Wet Coast Women! Kerry talks about the quirks of mamahood with a lot of humour and I must say I quite enjoy reading her blog. It's really nice to know there is a great community of mamas out there sticking out for each other and clearing the way for new mamas ! So thank you Kerry ;-)

The power struggle and wrapping my head around it...

2010-06-02T22:00:00.001-07:00

Ayden Ray Yawn
Originally uploaded by jeremy_ton

I was raised in a culture where feminists seemed to think the last thing a woman should strive for is having babies. Instead, they battled for women to have the right to access birth control and abortion, they battled for equal employment opportunities and wage equity. I’m not sure many of them really took a close look at what was happening in labor and delivery rooms. Before I became a mother myself, I was clueless to what struggles were taking place between birthing women and some of the medical world.

I came across this post on Lisa Barrett’s blog yesterday. I must say I cringed reading it and my fists balled up more than once. In our modern society, women are still being abused in one of their most vulnerable moments, birth. What gives any doctor the right to judge why a woman chooses to have children, and why she chooses to give birth naturally? How can we tolerate such abuse? In our century, I find it incredulous that doctors still want to “teach women a lesson” for getting “knocked-up” or worse, for wanting a “natural birth” or a VBAC.

On the other hand, doctors in BC are being scrutinized today. A recent study by the University of British Columbia's School of Population and Public Health shows that way too many women end up with a caesarean that is most probably unnecessary as a result of the way doctors examine possible complications such as shoulder dystocia and respond to them. The Vancouver Sun wrote a piece about the study today and Radio Canada featured the study in a short piece on the local news tonight. As Amy Romano writes on her blog, more and more medical research is becoming available to the “lay” audience via the Internet. I think we are on the verge of a deep transformation of the relationship between doctors and their patients. As people start realizing some of the disturbing trends in modern care, chances are they will also demand more accountability.

On the one hand, more and more women want to be in charge, in control of their births, they want to be the ones making the decisions and they trust their bodies enough to try and go “natural”. On the other side, a handful of fearful doctors seem to feel threatened in their positions of power. They want to “deliver” babies, at whatever cost for the woman. Some fight with all their might against the return of midwifery (even if studies have shown over and over that the midwifery model of care brings about safer outcomes in births for both women and their children). Some others wish they could still knock-out patients with anaesthesia to yank babies out of their bodies without hearing any moans, grunts or other inappropriate sounds women seem so intent to make in this very animal and disorderly business of birth. For these doctors, technology should help us all but erase completely the process of birth. Womanly things are gross: you should not be talking about menstrual blood, about sexual arousal, about orgasm or about the mess around birth: blood, guts, tears and sweat. Way too many shameful bodily functions involved!!!

So if you were that kind of doctor, would you feel threatened in your all-mighty position to decide life and death when some silly women actually start demanding natural births, un-medicated births or worse homebirths? Would you want to “teach them a lesson” if ever you came across one such woman in your care? Would you crank the pitocin up just a bit so her baby went in distress and she had to be wheeled to the OR? (“ooops”!) Would you threaten her with a big/dead baby to get her to accept an induction? Yes, maybe you would... But hopefully, you may turn out to be one of the good doctors, one who remembers the Hippocratic Oath, or so I hope for the woman who comes to you deep in labour, vulnerable, yet at the height of her mighty power to give life. Perhaps you will step back and give her the space to dance, moan, grunt, rock naked and push when she feels the urge. Perhaps you will help her on her journey, support her when she gets tired and cranky, tell her she’s doing a great job as you help her birth her child without ever imposing your own greed for power upon her. Because many of these women will tell you: birth is not only about having a healthy baby.

Breeching the system and bridging the educational gap

2010-05-30T09:57:00.000-07:00

Breech babies are still routinely delivered via cesarean sections today. Most moms who have breech babies don't even dream of having a vaginal delivery. However, it is interesting to note that in Canada, the Society of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists actually recommends not to systematically section moms with breech babies. Rixa, the lovely lady blogging at Stand and Deliver, recently posted a review of the documentary "A Breech in the System":

I think I'll order a copy of this documetary for myself. It sounds like an interesting journey to watch. There are different options to try to turn a breech baby. Spinning Babies offers quite a few ideas to experiment if you happen to be in that case.But, sometimes, babies just won't turn.

I find it very interesting to see that more and more women are challenging the medical model of birth and trying to find alternatives to birth their children the way they feel is best. I find it encouraging that more women actually trust themselves enough to stand up for themselves. This gives me a lot of hope for the future. The medical world may have to start examining common practices and re-evaluating them, women may start being better informed of their rights and options. Babies may have more space to birth in all the different ways they choose to come. Like with many other natural phenomenons, birth comes in all shapes and sizes. Trying to apply a one-fits-all model of care is really ridiculous and clearly not working. Too many women end up with an unecessarily scarred uterus or other complications when time, patience and a bit of trust might have done the trick.

But before this really happens, it will take more education. The Feminist Breeder actually wrote a very good piece on why wanting a natural birth is not enough and why getting proper prenatal education is important. I can only support that statement. I think showing documentaries such as The Business of Being Born or this Breech in the System can help women better understand their options ad what'a at stake. We should support these documentaries and campaign to have them showcased on mainstream media. Most important, proper prenatal education should be accessible to all mothers, as much as ultrasounds or glucose testing may be today.

Keeping moms and babies together after birth, even in the case of a surgical birth

2010-05-26T17:55:00.001-07:00

Angel on my shoulder
Originally uploaded by getangus

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Science and Sensibility is hosting another Healthy Birth Blog Carnival, the theme chosen is : keeping moms and babies together after birth. This healthy blog carnival will also be showcased on Lamaze’s latest website: Giving Birth with Confidence. I thought I’d focus this post on how to do that when you have a surgical birth, especially a caesarean birth.

Studies have shown the importance of the first moments between mother and child after birth, but what of mothers who had to give birth in an operating room? Whether their caesarean birth was necessary or not, these mothers and their babies need more than ever to bond and to spend as much time together as possible. Many hospitals routinely take the baby away and hand it back to mom only after she is out of the recovery room, when the effects of the anaesthetic has worn off. This may be a couple of hours! Here are some tips to bond with baby after a surgical birth:

Have skin to skin contact as soon as possible, even as soon as in the OR

Before you are wheeled in the operating room, remind your doctor and the staff that you wish to have baby skin to skin as soon as he/she is born, unless resuscitation is needed. Gently remind them that measurements can wait a few minutes and Apgars can be checked while baby is on you. The drapes shouldn’t prevent you from holding baby. The anaesthesia will probably cause you to be numb so someone else should hold the baby on you, your partner, your doula or a nurse can do that while you have some time with each other. This skin to skin will help your baby’s immune system and most of all imprint baby with your own special mommy scent. With a bit of luck baby may even latch right in the OR! This happened to a mom I know, who was allowed to have that skin to skin after her caesarean. But, unless you ask for it, most hospitals will just whisk baby away and you’ll only get to catch a glimpse of your child. Being in the OR can be intimidating but remember that your baby needs you and that nothing can replace those first few moments you share together. Having those few minutes will give you your best chances for a successful breastfeeding relationship and probably be of a great comfort after his/her dramatic entry in our world!

If you are lucky to be in a hospital that has the baby friendly standard, you may be allowed to have baby with you in the recovery room. This is the time to give baby a chance to try breastfeeding. If you are not allowed to have baby with you, make sure baby can spend time with someone familiar, like your partner or grandma.

Ask to room in with baby

Recovery from a caesarean can be painful and you may feel like you can’t do anything, but take advantage of the hospital bed to try different positions for holding baby or breastfeeding. You can move your bed up and down to find comfortable positions. Side-lying is a good option as it won’t put any pressure on your scar. Ask for additional pillows or have someone bring some from home. You can also use folded blankets to cushion the area around your scar and place baby on them to be able to hold baby close. Ask for an abdominal support belt ad wear it to support your abdomen, it will alleviate some of the pain and allow you to be more comfortable while holding baby and breastfeeding. If you can’t get your hands on such a support belt, recycle a belly band and use it to hold your abdomen. I used a snoogle pillow to help support my belly after the caesarean and it was great to hold baby while breastfeeding. Nurses and partners can be called upon to help you get baby from his bassinet.

Get help for when you return home and go on a “babymoon”

Have friends and family help around the house with laundry, cooking and groceries. Remember that after the surgery you shouldn’t be lifting anything heavier than your baby. Your priority is to be with baby, rest, recover and should not be to entertain guests or keep the house spotless. Consider hiring a postpartum doula to help you both with your house and with baby. A doula can help with newborn care, reassure you and also help you treat yourself well! Many great pregnancy books suggest taking a “babymoon”, meaning not getting out of your comfy PJs, staying in bed as long as you want and spending as much time as possible cuddling and nursing baby. Let friends and family take care of you and your house. Don’t be shy to ask! The precious moments you spend with baby will trigger the oxytocin hormone to flow in your system, this incredible love hormone will promote a better bond with baby, help your milk come in and give you a feeling that you and your baby are just all love. It’s truly a wonderful feeling! Going on this babymoon may also help you fight back any postpartum depression. Moms who have had a surgical birth or a heavily medicated and assisted vaginal birth are more likely to suffer postpartum depression or post traumatic stress disorders. If you experience some of the symptoms associated with these, call your healthcare provider and get help as soon as possible.

Co-sleeping and baby-wearing

These classical attachment-parenting means are great to promote a healthy and loving bond with baby. They also soothe babies and promote better sleep for both parents and children. If you are co-sleeping, it will make it easier for you to reach and nurse baby right in bed, rather than having to get up, which puts a bit of strain on your scar area.

Massage with a gentle touch

Baby massage is a great way to create a bond with your baby, soothe baby and help baby sleep better. Touch is really important for your child’s development, be it physical or emotional. Baby massage has been practiced for centuries by many different cultures. Today, experts have studied its positive results on babies with special needs or premature babies. Research has also demonstrated that mothers who suffered postpartum depression and their babies greatly benefited from baby massage. Baby massage relaxes, soothes and builds confidence in parents and children. Massage can also help mom mobilize her own scar and help her heal faster. You can use the same oils to massage baby’s soft skin and your scar area. Oils like organic coconut oil, rose oil or avocado oil are great. Easy techniques can be learned in workshops or books but you can also follow your instinct and gently stroke and massage your baby’s limbs.

Breastfeed!

Boobs are best for babes! And breastfeeding brings about a very special relationship between moms and babies. Breastmilk is the healthiest and most nutritious option for baby but will also help you slow down and take the time you need to be with baby. Forget the clocks and timed feedings and just go with the flow. Jump into a warm bath with baby. It’s a great way to nurse in a relaxed environment without straining yourself. If you encounter issues, get help from a lactation consultant, a knowledgeable mom or a support group like La Leche League. Sometimes it takes time to get a hang of it, so don’t give up!

Michel Odent, the reknown birth specialist, has spent many years studying all things related to primal health: those very crucial moments around baby’s time in the womb, birth and first year of life. Many studies have shown that this time is when many things are set for baby’s future health. It is really important to bring as much love, trust and kindness to both moms and babies in that time. Supporting moms to allow them to really discover their mammalian mothering skills is as important as providing them with a safe and gentle environment to give birth.

As much as I wish every woman to experience a truly undisturbed and gentle birth, I also know that as of today, close to one out of three women in North America gives birth in the OR. It is up to us to demand things to change for the sake of our children, up to us to bring back a more humane and healthy perspective on birth. Hospital policies can be changed, but the consequences of risky practices for our children can’t. As a community, we can also support our fellow moms who have gone through a difficult birth, help them adjust to motherhood and their new babies, without judging, with compassion and care.
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ICAN meeting tonight

2010-05-19T09:45:00.000-07:00

Ola beautiful mamas,

ICAN is hosting its monthly meeting tomight at 7 at the Kiwassa neighbourhood house (Nanaimo@Oxford). We will be talking about cesarean prevention. Come and join us for a warm cup of tea and a nice chat!

Where the wild women are

2010-05-17T15:00:00.001-07:00

Birth of the Leaf Lady
Originally uploaded by silentmute

There is something untamed about women. Sometimes hidden, sometimes not, this streak of wilderness carries women’s inner lives, their passions, their creativity, their life-force. The wild women are the ones that are changing our world, nurturing creative ways to live better with our earth and with its creatures.

The wild women has always been a target. It would be simplistic to say that men are the one that are afraid by the wild women. Truth is other women sometimes are too... Dogmatic religious zealots hate the wild women and throughout the ages have done their very best to exterminate them through witch hunts, burnings, religious bans of every sort or ridiculous laws.

But the wild woman persists, she is still lurking in the woods, dancing with animals, cultivating her garden and giving life in a roar of laughter and a thunderous cry. She makes people uncomfortable because, deep inside her, life is bubbling. She likes the crimson colors of love and passion. She dabbles with medicinal herbs and talks to wolves. She knows the art of healing with the touch of her hands, she paints vivid pictures, sculpts fantasies and sings to the moon. She wants to birth her children under the starry skies or under ancient redwoods. She believes in her power. She knows the pains of life and death.

When she gives birth, all the powers of the universe are unleashed. There, she is at the might of her beauty. She is also most vulnerable. That’s when the greedy and the power-hungry recognize the need to quell her untamed wilderness. She is sometimes stopped in her flight, strapped down, put under and cut open. She is sometimes violated or even mutilated. Violence leaves a bad taste in her mouth, brings tears to her eyes but she will not be broken. Somewhere inside her, the crazy untamed wild woman is still there, waiting for her moment to lash out and regain her power.

The archetype of the wild woman has been studied and recognized by psychologists and social anthropologists. This archetype is the one that should guide the way for those who are working to give women a better alternative to give birth to their children. It’s already leading the many women who are fighting for their sisters’ rights, be they rights to be educated, to decide for themselves, rights to control their reproductive health, rights to say yes or to say no, rights to be themselves. I believe that the more some fearful people will try to stop the wild women, the more they expose themselves to a powerful back-lash.

Instead of teaching our daughters to be the “good little girls”, we should nurture the wild women in them, teach them to believe in themselves and not to feel compelled to please everyone. Maybe then will we find the power to change the way birth is viewed and dealt with by our society. Maybe then will the wild women feel free to birth as they should, in charge of their bodies and in charge of their choices...

Milkies milk-saver

2010-05-17T09:15:00.000-07:00

Hello beautiful mamas! I haven't been posting much lately, caught-up in so many things!

I just discovered this incredible product for breastfeeding moms: the milk-saver. I have to get my hands on one to try it out!

This little device is said to help save the milk that would otherwise just leak into your bra, your nursing pad or your shirt. It collects the milk that is let-down from the breast your baby is not nursing on. Saving more milk for your baby or for the Donor Milk Bank. It is BPA-free and the website says it will help you be more environmental-friendly by avoiding the use of disposable nursing pads. I never used disposable pads, I have some lovely organic cotton ones from Mama Goddess Birthshop and actually hardly ever leak anymore, but it may be a good idea for some mamas who just leak all over. I'm thinking this could also help some moms with low milk supply.

I'd love to hear from mamas who've tried it. Does it work well for you?

Day of the midwife

2010-05-05T21:35:00.000-07:00

Today is the international day of the midwife. A special day to celebrate the special women who help us birth our babies!

I just finished reading Babycatcher, Peggy Vincent memoirs on her midwifery career. I must say that the book brought up a lot of emotions, especially the last chapters where she describes how a lawsuit leads her to close her private practice and stop doing homebirths. I think this book does a great job showing how midwives make birth a normal part of a women's life, how they help mothers have healthy pregnancies, healthy births and happy babies. How they offer the space and the intimacy for women to labor on their own terms. It also shows how society's twisted views make labor and "delivery" such a drama when it should't be.

At a time when the cesarean epidemic is hitting an all-time high and where more and more women are feeling cheated, or worse traumatized by their birth experiences, it is about time to bring back midwives in the picture. It is time to encourage the midwifery model of care. It would save millions of dollars and lead to less interventions, less trauma and better outcomes for babies and mothers all over. As it is sometimes put, OBs "deliver" babies when midwives help women "birth" their babies.

We really need to rethink the way we consider pregnancy and birth. We need to bring back the "normal" into the picture. Because women and babies deserve much better.

I find it encouraging that there is now a project to open a birth centre in Vancouver, a centre that would offer an alternative to women who don't need to birth in the hospital but don't feel comfortable birthing at home. Read more about this great project on Bloom Community Midwifery's site or on their facebook page and take their survey.

Babywearing is for dads too!

2010-04-26T19:37:00.000-07:00

At home, little Liam gets worn a lot, both by mom and dad. We have a Mei Tei carrier we use a lot, a sling (we seldom use), a wrap (Liam loves it) and a hiking carrier for when we go trekking in the backcountry. We almost ever use our stroller and Liam loves watching the world from a high vantage point! We use our wrap and our Mei Tei to parent him to sleep, to get things done around the house, to go shopping...

The Feminist Breeder posted a link to this great website with pics of dads wearing babies. I just thought it was a great idea to show people that dads can easily master the art of babywearing. Baby wearing is for dudes too! It's a fun way to bond with baby. And play the Wii or Guitar Hero for the matter...

The huz and I were actually discussing the fact that dads have changed a lot in recent years. A lot of dads are more and more involved in caring for babies and are not afraid to show their daddy skills out there. Even if there still is a lot to do before equality in parenting really becomes mainstream, I think these dads deserve some credit for showing off their attachment parenting skills!

The huz and Liam on the beach, a couple of days ago

Wearing a few-weeks-old Liam on a hike

Body image post-partum

2010-04-16T13:25:00.000-07:00

Do you sometimes stand in line at the grocery store staring at all the celebrity magazines on the rack wondering how it is that celebs always seem to snape back in shape within weeks after having a baby? Do you sometimes look at your pre-pregnancy clothes and long for your flat belly and skinny thighs? Do you sometimes feel like its utterly unfair that your friends who had a vaginal birth just seemed to loose their belly so much faster than you? Do you hate your cesarean scar or your stretch marks? Do you just feel like nursing bras are the least sexy underwear you've ever worn? Body image postpartum can be challenging and sometimes negative. Let's bring back some positive!

Well, here are some things to check out:

Shape of a Mother: I just love that site, it really shows you real-life mamas with their battle scars and bellies. It may not be as glamorous as the nip n' tuck airbrushed magazine photos, but it sure shows how good mamas really look! Low self-esteem after a pregnancy can lead to PPD so it's good to remind ourselves that getting back in shape after having a baby sometimes takes time and that you should really love your body for the amazing work it did and still does.
CesareanScar.com: Navelgazing midwife just launched a new website on cesarean scars, if you'd like to talk about your scar and contribute this can be a way to share your feelings and emotions.
Vagina Pagina also has a page on cesarean scars with photos and photos of what real female nether parts look like, especially after delivering a baby (nope, the porn actresses actually don't really look that "normal"...). I love that they support a body and sex-positive environment.
Hot milk has some wonderful nursing bras for the beautiful mamas. I noticed that wearing nice underwear instead of worn-out postpartum panties and ugly nursing bras actually made me feel a lot better about my body image!

Our society supports a weird idea of what the female body should like. Even when we are educated women with a strong self-esteem, it can sometimes be challenging to deal with body image, especially after pregnancy. I actually noticed that men on the other hand, are actually quite attracted to round curvacious mamas! So time to forgo our strict diets and forceful exercise for some fun things to do! Instead of hitting the gym with a sense of duty, let's just take some fun salsa or flamenco classes. Instead of hiding underneath concealing pregnancy clothes, let's show off our bountiful sexy cleavage! (yes, even with milk stains...) I remember seing this really funny french comic strip with a woman and her husband after her pregnancy: he was calling her his lovely tiger-woman for all her stretch marks! I like that idea of being a feline cat-woman! I've also heard of mamas referring to their cesarean scars as "belly smileys", because despite the hard feelings and the trauma of their births, they still cherish their little "special delivery" babies.

As spring is blooming, mamas all aroung are reconnecting with their earthly beauty, we should celebrate that goddess beauty! Just like our ancestors worshipped very curvacious, very pregnant and full of life goddesses:

Venus of Willendorf

Dialogue vs debate : another take on the breastfeeding mommy-war

2010-04-15T16:02:00.000-07:00

Lately, breastfeeding has once more been at the centre of a full-blown mommy-war. I'm fairly new to this whole realm of mommy-wars and I was amazed at the amount of debate, passion and thoughtlessness.. Lactivists pitted against mothers who felt picked on. Some amazing bloggers actually genuinely tried to bring the debate back where it belongs: on the barriers that prevent many women from breastfeeding. Annie at PhD in Parenting wants to break down societal barriers and SortaCrunchy momma wants us moms to stop, listen and be supportive. The subject is sensitive, The Feminist Breeder actually saw her site blow up after her post on the subject !

The thing is society has taught us to be competitive and to strive to be better than all others. From primary school we learned that you have to be part of the “popular” crowd or be shunned. It all comes down to “belonging” and so starts the name-giving, the criticizing and the judgmental attitude...When we reach adulthood that’s really the only way we know how to behave, albeit with a hypocritical smile pasted on our faces. Don’t shake your heads, you have all at least once criticized another mom and showed her your best smile when you met her on the street.

We all want to be the über-crunchy mama that does it all: natural birth, extensive breastfeeding, making her own baby food with her home-grown-organic-heirloom veggies, cloth-diapers, sews and knits clothes for her kids, is prolific in arts and crafts and the list goes on and on... I call this the Wisteria Lane hysteria; it leads to the Bree Van de Kamp syndrome: trying to be THE perfect mom. Now, this is where our mistake is: there is no perfect mom, as late psychologist Winnicott puts it, we are merely “good-enough” mothers and that’s what we should strive to be. Each of us has a slightly different style of parenting and we should embrace that diversity. Our kids are different too, with different needs. So, really, the judging, the looking down and making assumptions should stop. We are only perpetuating the “popular girl” pattern that leads to neurosis. We really don’t want that to be passed down to our kids.

As SortaCrunchy mom puts it, if you really want to advocate, then put your money where your mouth is. I recently met the wonderful mom who is leading the Vancouver ICAN chapter, she is a breastfeeding advocate, a true one. One of the moms she knew was having a low milk supply issue with her little one and was considering switching to formula. Well, this amazing mama of two pumped and donated her breastmilk to help this mom overcome her low milk supply. Guess what? It worked! Instead of bereaving her friend for being “too lazy”, or “not educating herself”, she genuinely helped her over the hurdles. Another amazing mama I know, who just had twins, is spending some precious time showing another pregnant friend of ours how to breastfeed, including showing her cracked and bleeding nipples from one of her twins not properly latching on...

Advocating with heart is more about sharing than judging. It’s about being honest about whatever difficulties may be encountered and providing supportive encouragement to those who are on the same path.

Back to dialogue and debate... Dialogue is about sharing the pieces of the puzzle we have to come up with a better picture, it’s about listening for common ground and not for weaknesses to use against our counterpart. It’s about having a conversation. I don’t see that happening as much as I wish. I see a lot of “mommy wars” going on when really we should be ganging up on the systems that are not supporting our independence, not supporting working mothers, throwing us under the surgical knife when it is unnecessary or putting our reproductive rights in jeopardy.

We should start a movement to give a voice to all the mamas around, to allow them to share their stories in a safe and non-judgemental environment. We should start having tea with the moms we feel different from to hear their side of the story. We should learn to respect the choices made by others. We could probably hear many stories we never imagined, the one of the adoptive mom who is trying to induce lactation but needs a little help from the formula, the one of the mother who has a long history of sexual abuse and just can’t, the one of the mother who tried everything and it just did not work out, the one who tried to pump when she went back to work but saw her supply dwindling, the one who ended up in the hospital with many medications that were not compatible with breastfeeding and the one of the woman who already gives so much of herself to her child she feels she just needs to have at least her breasts to herself to avoid post-partum depression...And who are we to judge?

Breastfeeding always brings about passion, but the ultimate decision should always be the mother’s. As much as I will always support extensive breastfeeding, I know for some it is not what their heart’s desire is. If given the choice and support, many women would probably choose to breastfeed, but some won’t. Just as some women choose to have children and some don’t. If we want to support women’s rights and freedoms, as much as it is important to provide the support and the informed choices, it is also important to respect their decisions. Thoughtless name-calling does NOT help, it just makes advocates sound like mean proselytizers and makes people want to run the other way... Instead, breastfeeding activists should strive to make sure society offers options to women, they should strive to be supportive and keep an open mind and most importantly, an open heart...

I'm aware that this is wishful thinking but who knows what social change could come about if women partnered up instead of ganging up against each other...

Some great posts about this issue:

Peaceful Revolutions by Melissa Bartick on HuffingtonPost
Societal Barriers to Breastfeeding by PhD in Parenting
What are the Breastfeeding Booby Traps by Best for Babes
Breastfeeding and Guilt by Jack Newman, MD, FRCPC
They should feel guilty! How a lactivist brings some sense back by Lactivist Leanings

Using water in labour and birth

2010-04-06T16:00:00.001-07:00

Healthy snacks during pregnancy

2010-04-06T11:31:00.001-07:00

Nuts and dried fruit, Kashgar Bazaar
Originally uploaded by siam.society

Eating healthy is tantamount to a healthy pregnancy and a safe birth. A healthy diet is also the best way to promote your ow child's health later in life. Kids that are used to eating healthy meals at home are less prone to obesity or diabetes later in life.

When I was pregnant, I would eat a lot more often during the day and sometimes during the night. Litlle Liam was asking for his share of goodies!

The trick was not to indulge in things like cookies, muffins and doughnuts all day... Pretty hard when I had a lovely cookie shop just below my office and a Tim Horton's in the building...

So instead, I rediscovered nuts, seeds and dry fruit. Packed with vitamins, fibre and essential nutrients, they were a great way to satisfy my need for snacks during the day and to pack some healthy things into the placenta on the way! Another great thing about dried fruit such as plums or figs is that they help your digestive system. Along with lots of water they are a good way to avoid bloating and constipation that sometimes occur during pregnancy. Another great way to promote easy digestion and pack some nutrients is to add a tablespoon of flaxseed oil to your smoothies, yogurts or vegetables.

Pumpkin seeds are full of iron. Iron is the one thing women truly need to have in their bodies both during pregnancy and after birth. Iron allows for a quicker recovery and boosts your energy. Sadly it's the one thing a lot of women lack, either because we don't metabolize it properly or because our diet isn't great. A lot of the iron supplements don't agree well with women's metabolism so getting an extra source from seeds, nuts and dark green veggies is a great way to make sure you've got all you need!

A lot of mamas find it hard to cook healthy home-made meals. Pregnancy is the time to rediscover the pleasures of cooking simple, healthy meals. You really don't need to be a chef or know how to use fancy spices to make great meals and often it doesn't take more time that preparing a processed-food meal.

Take a look at Jamie Oliver's TED talk: it sure makes you think twice about what and how you eat! Remember, healthy can be simple and cheap too!

Birth Fest!

2010-04-02T14:29:00.000-07:00

April is cesarean awareness month!

2010-04-01T14:26:00.000-07:00

April is the month to learn more about cesareans and about how to avoid them.

Some things to think about:

Read ICAN's whitepapers on cesareans
Learn about Amnesty International's report on maternal mortality in the US
Check out Lamaze and Birth Advocate for tips for a safer birth
Hug a cesarean-birth mom and celebrate her true awesomeness!
Visit the ICAN Lower Mainland booth at Birth Fest!

For me this month is also a month to reflect back on my own cesarean birth. I will be asking for my complete medical record to really understand how I went from an all-natural homebirth to my worst nightmare: birth in a stainless-steel, dehumanizing operating room. I will also be seriously starting my classes to become a childbirth educator! The wonderful Mieke Bray also asked me to become the ICAN Lower Mainland co-leader so it looks like I will be continuing to advocate on behalf of moms for little while...

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Of bowels, birth and common sense: staying off your back during delivery

2010-03-30T21:01:00.000-07:00

Sense and Sensibility is hosting the 5th Healthy Birth Blog Carnival, the theme chosen is : Avoid giving birth on your back and follow your body’s urges to push. So I thought I'd throw my 2 cents in!

If you look at the way birth is portrayed in our modern culture, you’d think the only way to give birth is laying flat on your back, with your legs up and some masked OB sitting between your legs yanking the baby out all the while you would be screaming your lungs out and cursing the world for what’s being done to your precious nether parts...

Well, turns out, it's probably the worst way to give birth! The lithotomy position actually narrows the pelvis, crushes your internal organs, decreases your blood circulation and forces you to work against gravity, going uphill, to push your baby out. Now, who on earth had that idea in the first place? Feminists would probably answer that it was the dominantly male medical world that first decided that it would be best for women to give birth that way. Historians may argue it was King Louis the fourteenth, who, wishing to see one of his favourite ladies give birth, asked that the lady be positioned on her back on a bed so he could have a better view... I think it really does not matter who first started this particularly poor habit in modern obstetrics, what matters is that we work to change that perception and help women birth in a more comfortable position, a position that makes sense.

I’ve been reading a fair bit about the fact that obstetrics are not so much based on evidence and science than on habits. The result is that women suffer interventions, poor positions and lack of proper support to suit the needs and comfort of their health practitioners. Many women and women’s health advocates argue that this situation needs to change. Women in labour need not to be submitted to unhealthy positions to suit other people’s comfort. If they were given the space and the right support to birth, chances are the intervention rates and outcomes for these women and their babies would be far better...

Now, what does common sense teach us? One of the analogies I really like, although some might find it kind of gross, is that of the bowel movement. Yes, there is another bodily function that no one likes to talk about, much less think about. Well, if you look closely at the way our body functions, it is much easier to have a proper bowel movement in an upright position. Who would ever think of having a bowel movement while lying down? No one right? Same goes with a baby being born. Newton taught us the importance of GRAVITY: gravity helps bring down whatever needs to come out of our bodies. So proper positioning is crucial when giving birth. Being upright, whether sitting on a birth stool, squatting, using ropes or a hammock to bear the body down, being on all fours and leaning against a bed, a birth ball or a support person, lunging or standing up really rocks! These types of positions can help the pushing stage be shorter, less painful for the mom and most of all, will probably help prevent much damage to the perineum.

The perineum... “Love thy perineum” should be a motto for all birthing women and their attendants... A healthy perineum is essential for a women’s health, even years after giving birth to their children. This bring me to the second point about the pushing stage: why on earth are practitioners still asking women to push before their body starts feeling the urge to push and why are they still advocating for women to forcibly push, using a vasalva maneuver, holding your breath and pushing pushing pushing? Research has proven that this type of pushing is actually bad for moms and their babies. It usually results in a much longer pushing stage, more tears and often leads to distress in the baby which in turn can lead to a caesarean section. Later on there may also be consequences for the mom’s health such haemorrhoids, weak perineum, pain during intercourse, leaks or prolapses.

Once more, common sense shows us how really ridiculous this is. As a biologist, I was privileged to witness a great many births in the natural world, especially in mammals such as ourselves. Why would humans be the only ones that give birth with so much pain and difficulties? It did not make any sense to me. Research has actually demonstrated that the human body does feel the urge to push when the baby is ready, that is when his head has properly molded to fit into the narrow pelvic opening. The head needs time to take the proper shape to slip pass the pubic bone. The perfect fit sometimes takes time... and does not obey any schedules, clocks or other means of timing. Most practitioners do not allow moms that time and forcibly encourage pushing once the mom is dilated to the proverbial 10 centimetres. Dilatation of the cervix is not all that is needed for a baby to be born: other delicate factors come in and should be taken into consideration.

In natural and “normal” birth, once the baby is ready, mom will feel the urge to push. She should be encouraged to go with the flow and as some have dubbed it “breathe baby down”. By using this slower, yet gentler technique, babies will experience less distress and slip out easily. Reminds you of something? Yes, back to the bowel movement. Straining when having a bowel movement is neither healthy nor helpful. It is much easier to just “go with the flow” and let your body (and gravity!) do the work. Straining results in pain, haemorrhoids and other distasteful things. Even when experiencing constipation, sometimes drinking more fluids and giving the body a few more hours will do the trick. In time, the body will resolve the issue. And so does it in birth, once the baby is properly positioned, gently breathing with the body’s urges to bear down will help baby be born without too much stress on the woman’s body, thus preserving the wonderful perineum!

This is really a circle, it brings me back to positioning: to be able to “breathe baby down”, women need to be helped in proper positioning. The upright position will help baby come down using gravity and help mom breath easily. Have you really tried breathing with your chin tucked in your chest? Not that easy right? Opening the chest and lifting the head is much better. And guess what? If mom breathes better, so does baby! Baby needs the oxygen to make his journey a little faster and littler easier.

Navelgazing midwife actually wrote an amazing post about helping a woman who had an epidural give birth sitting upright against the bed. This shows that even if you are hooked up to a electronic foetal monitor and an IV line, you can still find ways to get upright for the pushing stage.

None of this is rocket science; it’s just common sense and proper observation of how human bodies work. Bringing back common sense in labour and delivery rooms may just be what’s needed to get women to birth in a gentler and easier way, sparing lives that may be more endangered by overuse of technology, intervention and operations. “First, do no harm” remember? Technology should remain an exception, when there is clearly a life-threatening situation.

Birth remains a natural event and most women are capable of giving birth naturally if given the time, space and support, otherwise, how would the human species have survived this long?

So... going back to evidence-based science: much of what I lightly described above, including the analogy with the bowel movement, has really been observed, documented and proven by scientific research, so why is it that obstetrics are still the one medical area where the practices are more based on habits that on evidence and science? If I were a conspiracy-prone feminist, I could possibly argue that it’s just another way to rob women of their power in one event where their power is so obvious. So ladies, time to reclaim your birth power! Make sure you and your support team know how to birth in an upright position and enforce your choice with your health practitioners! Old habits can be change as long as a critical mass of change-makers is reached, let us hope that the bad habit of making women give birth in positions that do not suit them will soon disappear...

Photo of the BirthRite Birthing Seat

Reproductive health and foreign aid or when feminism needs to become political

2010-03-25T14:19:00.001-07:00

"Canada's 'signature' initiative at June's G8 summit - a strategy to improve the health of mothers and young children in poor countries" will not include family planning programs, Canadian Foreign Minister Lawrence Cannon said on Tuesday, the Globe and Mail reports. Cannon said the initiative "does not deal in any way, shape or form with family planning. Indeed, the purpose of this is to be able to save lives."
According to the newspaper, "Cannon's statements distressed those who had hoped for some flexibility" with the plan, even though the government had hinted that it might not include family planning provisions.
"Maternal-health advocates worry that the government's desire to steer clear of the abortion issue - and therefore not upset part of its political base - is also pushing it to rule out all other family-planning programs, like distributing contraceptives," the Globe and Mail writes. "I'm very concerned that they're equating family planning with abortion," said Katherine McDonald, executive director of Action Canada for Population and Development.

As read on http://www.news-medical.net

stand up
Originally uploaded by frizzetta

This is what I’ve been reading about the last couple of days. This whole issue triggered much debate on parliament hill and around kitchen tables. Needless to say it was mayhem on the news wires and on blogging platforms… Just thought I’d through in my two cents on this issue.

During the past three years, I have been working on a project that engaged Canadian citizens in a dialogue on foreign policy. And guess what: one of the five areas Canadians wanted their government to lead by example was promoting human development and gender equality:

Well guess what government officials, gender equality starts with giving women the right and means to manage their own reproductive health.Why is reproductive health important? Because you cannot save mothers and babies if you don’t allow women to choose when and how many babies they want. Multiple pregnancies in a short span of time, in conditions where hygiene and safety are not warranted leads to a higher rate of maternal and infant death. Period.

Educating women and giving them the tools to manage their own reproductive health has been proven to improve health outcomes both for them, their children and their communities. It has also been proven over and over that empowering women in that sense results in them becoming change leaders. Women who have the choice and are educated usually manage to improve the lives of their communities.

I think it would be very foolish to follow the footsteps of policies only aiming at promoting “abstinence only” programs. We know that teen pregnancy rates in our western countries have certainly not improved but worsened by choosing abstinence education over other forms of sex-ed. Seriously, you cannot expect abstinence to be the best way to prevent the spread of AIDS or unwanted pregnancies… Or you really have a very rosy and unrealistic view of human nature…

In war-torn countries, women are often subjected to rape on a routine basis, leading to pregnancies that are neither desired neither healthy. Allowing women not to carry the fruit of such traumatic events is essential, even if it goes against the beliefs of well-meaning men on our side of the planet. How hard is it to understand?

You could suspect the Harper government to have something against women and their rights to equality with this type of policy. What worries me more is that the public’s tax dollars may not be used wisely and in line with what the tax-payers actually wish. Yep, you heard me. No need to prorogue parliament once more to avoid this delicate question!

I you care about how Canada spends your tax dollars on foreign aid, write to your member of parliament and let them know how you feel. Reproductive health is a right for women here and there and obscure political agendas should certainly not get in the way.

Post-cesarean birth kits now available at Mama Goddess Birth Shop

2010-03-23T23:27:00.000-07:00

I just love their stuff! Their birth kits are pretty amazing and I know for a fact my midwives recommend them a lot. Well, the lovely ladies of Mama Goddess have just put together a post-cesarean birth kit that includes salve for your scar from Earth Mama Angel Baby (great stuff!) and More Milk tea. A lot of mamas may experience some breastfeeding issues post-cesarean and having some of this lovely tea may just ease things a bit.

So a big up to Mama Goddess!

Baby massage workshop at Lilli'Q café

2010-03-23T16:35:00.000-07:00

Hey beautiful mamas! There is a fantastic baby massage workshop at Lilli'Q café in Yaletown on May 7. The workshop was originally scheduled for March 26 but the lovely Evangeline only had 3 people registered.

Baby massage is a great way to bond with your newborn and later on to calm upset tummies or overexcited and tired babies and toddlers. Touch is a very important sense, especially in young children. Massage is a traditional way to engage children in discovering their sense of touch and to nurture them.

Research actually shows that babies that are regularly massaged sleep better and cry less.

If you are interested, go to Lilli'Q Café's website to register for the workshop or drop by the café at 1268 Pacific Blvd. in Yaletown.

"Touching is the first communication a baby receives" Frédéric Leboyer, acclaimed author of Birth without Violence and Loving Hands: The Traditional Art of Baby Massages

More about Baby massage workshops and baby and mama pilates with Evangeline on her website: neomama

Photo of the Lilli'Q café by Erica Miller

Healthy birth practices videos and giveaway!

2010-03-19T09:28:00.000-07:00

Lamaze and Mother's Advocate have a series of great videos available online on healthy birth practices here :

I really encourage women who are expecting to take a look at these videos. I found them both educational and empowering. Science and Sensibility is actually hosting a giveaway to get a DVD of these videos. If you are a doula or a childbirth educator, these can really help your clients, and since it's not always possible to have an internet connection where you teach, these DVDs could be really helpful.

Share your birth story!

2010-03-18T13:17:00.001-07:00

I hate scary birth stories, I really prefer empowering birth stories! I will soon be creating a new page on this site to post great, empowering birth stories from mamas all around, whether they had a natural homebirth or a cesarean birth and everything in between. Please feel free to email me your story to share on this site at birthing.goddess AT gmail.com

First ICAN meeting in Vancouver

2010-03-18T13:10:00.000-07:00

Vancouver now has an ICAN chapter! Yeah for Mieke Bray of the Cesarean Parents Network for her hard work to make this happen! The ICAN chapter met for the first time last night. We explored the different things we could be doing at the next chapter meetings. Topics that will be explored are:

Recovery issues (talks with yoga teachers and physiotherapists...)
Making spiritual cesareans a reality in our local maternity wards and improving the outcomes for both moms and babies
Healing through art
VBACs (preparing a VBAC and finding a supportive health-care provider)
Latest research
Sharing stories

ICAN will be present at the Birth Fest event on April 10th at the Britannia Community Centre

ICAN chapter meetings will be held every third wednesday of the month at the Kiwassa Neighbourhood House on Oxford Street, in the upstairs living-room. Visit ICAN Lower mainland for more info.

Listening to heal and not proselytizing

2010-03-18T12:06:00.000-07:00

Many of us desired a natural, medication and intervention-free childbirth. Turns out, most of us actually experienced at least some degree of intervention during our labour and delivery. As much as I advocate for natural, peaceful births for moms, I also feel it is important to acknowledge that some moms really do need interventions during birth. These women often have very strong feelings about what they had to endure during this crucial moment of their lives and as it is don’t need people nagging at them because they could’ve, should’ve done differently. Birth is journey for everyone and each one of us will learn something from it. Making women feel positive about their births is really important for their health and their babies’.

I really want to point out to this post by Navelgazing midwife where she talks about a mom who was hoping for a VBAC but had to undergo a repeat caesarean that was probably necessary in her case. She describes a “homebirth proselytizer” that made this mom feel bad about her experience. This situation reminds me a lot of people I have met during the course of my involvement in the environmental movement. For them, as for this woman described in the post, everything is back or white and they tend to forget that life is actually mostly in the grey zone. I have noticed that such people actually have a lot of fear and issues of their own that they tend to deal with by trying to be more royalist than the king. Needless to say their efforts are often counterproductive and tend to give a bad image of the movement they so want to put out there.

Many factors come into play during labour and birth and so do they in the environment. We should always keep that in mind when listening to someone else’s birth story. Listening is sometimes a hundredfold more important than giving unwanted advice or criticism. So let us remind ourselves to advocate with heart and not with judgement as each situation may be different. For me the most important thing we should really advocate for is the right for women to CHOOSE. The choice of my friend may be very different from mine, but she nevertheless deserves respect. Her needs may be very different from mine. Where I feel more comfortable giving birth at home, she may feel more comfortable giving birth at the hospital. Let's just celebrate our differences and ensure we both get the safety and the dignity we deserve in birth, whatever the circumstances.

Babywearing do's and dont's and bag-carrier warning

2010-03-15T15:15:00.000-07:00

Bag carriers have been linked to suffocation in babies. They were quite trendy when I was pregnant and I actually own a JJ Cole Premaxx bag carrier. A lot of people were buying them at the time because some celebrity had been seen with one.

We hardly ever used ours, Liam prefers being either in the Mei Tei carrier or in the wrap. I actually never figured how to nurse with the bag carrier ! I guess it was all the better for Liam, who spends a lot of time being worn either by me or his dad.

But, babywearing should not be blamed for these deaths. Babywearing has been traditionnaly used to soothe, nurse, carry babies all around the world and actually has a number of benefits for the wee ones. If bag-carriers have been associated with infant-deaths, other means of wearing babies have not and are still very safe to use. As Dou-la-la wrote very sensibly about in her blog, these trendy new carriers may just not have been conceived with baby in mind but more to meet a bottom-line:

This is pure opinion on my part, but there's something about all these slings, not just the most notorious Infantino, that bother me, aside from the deeply flawed design. It seems to me that these are inauthentic slings at the core. What the heck do I mean by that vagueness? My gut feeling is that these particular brands were created in a response to a trend, without much if any real research, and without a fundamental belief in babywearing as a practice. I don't think Eddie Bauer executives happened to be reading Dr. Sears and decided to start promoting attachment parenting tools; I don't think Boppy was out for anything more than another product in a different aisle of Babies R Us. I think these companies saw a growing number of consumers purchasing Maya ring slings and Mei Tais and Moby wraps, not to mention the burgeoning legions of WAHMs putting their own lovingly created wares up on etsy, and they decided to try to get in on the action.

So you may as well try a sling designed by a thoughtfull mom instead. There are scores of wonderful options available, with different designs and fabrics. You are sure to find one that will suit you and your baby. Check out our resource section for links to great babywearing gear made by mamas.

The most important thing to recognize is that wearing babies is like everything else: it should be done mindfully and properly. Safety instructions should always be read and followed and common sense should not come as an option! I really loved what Justine at State of the Heart wrote on her blog (emphasis mine):

By all means, let’s please include warnings that your sling is a parenting tool, not a replacement for common sense and observation…but saying that no one should ever use a sling is NOT a reasonable recommendation on the part of the CPSC or Consumer Reports. Shame on them.

As much as I feel for the parents who lost their child in such terrible circumstances, I can't help but notice that more and more parents want to rely on "things" to parent their children for them and then lay all the blame on objects or third-parties when something bad happens. I see it as a dangerous trend in our societies. Babies should not be left unsupervised and putting them in a sling or a carrier entails that you actually keep a very watchful eye on them and on their breathing patterns.

Whatever the carrier you choose, babywearing does take some practice at first. Try taking a class to learn all the different and safe ways you can carry your baby, or practice with a soft doll to get a hang of it. At first, have a friend or a partner close by who can check that you are doing it properly. That person can also help you hold baby or reposition baby if needed.

Positioning baby in a ring-sling:

More information about sling safety on Sleeping Baby with some great visuals and links.

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Tuba City, Arizona: lessons in safe hospital birth

2010-03-11T15:37:00.000-08:00

The US have one of the highest rates of c-section births in the world. How did this rate become so high and why is it that women are birthing more and more in an operating room? C-sections are major surgeries and should only be used wisely, when mother and baby are at risk during birth. Each caesarean birth will increase the risks for the mother in ulterior pregnancies. Most of the time, given the proper support, intimacy, space to move about and time, women will give birth naturally and without the need of interventions.

The New York Times just ran a story about what is happening in rural Arizona, where women are given the space and time to birth their babies, resulting in healthier outcomes both for moms and kids. In Tuba City, Arizona, the local hospital is not run in the way most hospitals are run in the US. The hospital is run by the Navajo Nation and is federally insured against malpractice, lessening the fears of lawsuits for doctors, nurses and anaesthesiologists. Doctors earn a fixed salary, and are not paid according to the procedures. Practitioners live close-by in case of an emergency so there is no need to “rush” moms during labor. The hospital provides an environment for women to give birth in a safe way. The results are there: Tuba City has one of the lowest rate of caesarean births in the country and one of the highest rates of VBAC (vaginal birth after caesarean).

At the Tuba City hospital, most births are attended by nurse-midwives, who usually have a track record of fewer interventions. It was really nice to read a mainstream media article that actually stressed that fact and stressed the need for hospitals that provide safe environments for women.

Giving birth without being ill-treated by overworked personnel, rushed into operating rooms by doctors who are in a hurry to get to their golf game or forced into uncomfortable birth positions because of liability issues is a right that women should fight for. Giving birth is not a medical emergency except for very rare cases. Women should and must be allowed to give birth in a safe, secure way, in a way where their integrity and dignity are respected. Birth should not be portrayed as a catastrophe in waiting or as a necessary trauma.

In Navajo country, the article states that:

Birth is a joyous affair here, and the entire family — from children to great-grandparents — often go to the delivery room. [...] As a result, many young women have already seen children born by the time they become pregnant, and birth seems natural to them, not frightening.

I think we should all learn something from the Navajo way: there is an alternative to the way we treat birth today. For those who don’t want the “granola-eating-tree-hugging” sort of birth as some view homebirth, hospital birth should be just as safe, peaceful and fulfilling. Most important, birth attendants should always have the mother’s and baby’s health and interest in mind, not their own...

Read the full New York Times article here.

Photo by: Facerock productions

The big sleep issue... tips and tricks for the sleep-deprived mama

2010-03-02T19:25:00.000-08:00

Yes, every mama out there has heard the dreaded question: “is he/she a nice baby, does he/she sleep through the night?”, starting as early as a few days after she gave birth to her little bundle of joy.

When you become a parent, sleep can quickly become an obsession: is the baby sleeping enough or too much? Where and how should the baby sleep? Are we getting enough sleep as parents? What is the minimal number of hours of sleep you need to properly function during the day? And so on and so on. The first weeks, you get into a routine of waking up a night several times to feed your little one. After a few months, it’s a whole other story, the expectations of the outside world grow and it can become very challenging for young parents to deal with the mounting concern from family, friends and well-meaning relatives who all have something to say about their baby’s sleep.

It is time for parents to stop making excuses for the way their baby sleeps. Yes, it may be teething, or the fact that the baby is learning a lot of things and sometimes needs to “rehearse” his newly acquired skills at night, or it may be constipation, or gassiness or whatever else. It really doesn’t matter. Your baby is a unique little person and perhaps, well, he or she may not sleep soundly for 12 hours. There is no need to feel like a failure, like some parents have come to feel. Most babies eventually will sleep through the night.

Before you go running off to some “sleep expert”, here are some tips we’ve learned from having a baby with very funky sleep patterns and from sometimes being on the brink of exhaustion and feeling like we were total failures:

Stop comparing your baby to others, it is very likely some parents actually lie about their kid’s sleep. It’s only natural to want your baby to “look good” and to sometimes exaggerate their abilities...Chances are, that mom who looks really great and keeps telling everyone her baby sleeps soooo well (you know the one!), well, chances are she is probably wearing as much concealer as you are to hide those dark circles, and chances are, her baby probably wakes up as much as yours for the all-night milky bar! I remember being on the brink of explosion after our family had once more compared our 6 months-old son who woke up routinely once or twice at night to feed to his cousin, three weeks older, who slept 12 hours straight... Well it's OK to tell people to let it go! Trust me, I wished I had done it sooner!
Don’t have too many expectations about sleep. Some babies sleep really well the first few months before hitting some hurdles due to teething, new acquisitions or something else. Some babies have a rocky sleep routine from the start, some will have crazy nursing sessions 5 times a night and some won’t. Everyone is different! Just like adults have very different sleep patterns and habits, babies are individuals with their own rhythms. What works for one baby does not necessarily work for another. Even siblings can be very different sleep-wise!
Remember that babies actually “sleep through the night” if they’ve had stretches of 5 or 6 hours of sleep. If you go to bed a lot later than he/she does, than yes, his/her “night” may be over when yours is just starting...
Try turning off the TV. Sometimes too much stimulations prevents baby from going to sleep.
Try moving your baby’s sleep routine to an earlier time. We used to put our son to sleep at 8PM, since we moved his bedtime to 6:30-7:00, he sleeps a lot better.
Watch for cues: babies will rub their eyes or sometime go through a period of crazy-hyperactive state, that’s usually a sign that they’re exhausted, it’s time for some down-time like reading stories and getting ready for the night.
Keep the same routine (yeah, I know, that’s a hard one), all the books say the same thing and actually it really helps to have some sort of routine even if from time to time you don’t respect it.
Wear baby in the day. I cannot stress how much babywearing is part of our everyday life. There are so many advantages to wearing your tiny one! And Dr Sears is actually right about that one. Our son goes to sleep a lot easier if he’s been worn during the day. Sometimes if he has a hard time going to sleep, his daddy will wear him for a bit and that usually does the trick! I wear him a lot during the day, it allows me to get things done around the house and it’s a great way to get around without lugging a huge stroller around (especially on the bus, where strollers take up a lot of space...)
From time to time, instead of nursing baby to sleep, try having him spend some time tummy to tummy with Daddy. Our son loves going to sleep on his Dad, it must date back to his first few days when he would sleep most of his night on Dad’s chest between nursing sessions.
Organize sleep shifts if sleeping really becomes an issue. We have a bed in the office and one of us sometimes goes there to sleep part of the night before taking over early in the morning so the other adult can get some rest. It works out ok and there are plenty of other times to be intimate without baby there...
If crazy nursing sessions are the problem, consider co-sleeping. It may help you get some rest while feeding baby. (And no, feeding him/her more food, solid or not, before going to sleep does not make any difference, it may just make the baby more uncomfortable because of digestion issues!) Try taking naps during the day or learn how to train your body to recuperate with micro-naps like sailors do.
Remember: this is a little mammal, and not sleeping through the night at an early age is actually a survival skill, our society’s expectations aren’t...

And yes, we all have dark circles at some point! Try some frozen green-tea bags to get rid of the puffiness! And yes, from time to time it’s perfectly ok to wander around the house in your PJs at 4 in the afternoon... Just put a sign on the door to ask visitors to please come back another day! Have a good laugh about it and remember your little one will outgrow this stage at some point and before long you will be worrying because the baby is now a teenager and is sleeping until noon because of too much party last night... Become a professional procrastinator, some things can just wait for another day and the fate of humanity will not be worse! (except if you are a biologist working on some crazy cancer cure or something of the sort...)

Mom 2.0

2010-02-20T10:48:00.000-08:00

10 easy steps to care for your scar and feel better

2010-02-08T17:37:00.000-08:00

Caesareans are often quite traumatic for moms and many of us will go through different stages, ranging from anger to sadness to self-loathing. Many women can’t even look at their scar, let alone touch it or let someone else touch it, but you actually need to “work” your scar, to take care of it. Good self-care will allow for proper healing, help you avoid pain and get to love your body again. Good care of your scar may also allow you to put more chances on your side for a successful VBAC.

I was blessed to attend ICAN’s webinar on caesarean scar care with physiotherapist Isa Herrera. She just published an excellent book: “Ending Female Pain”, that you can find on the ICAN bookstore or order online at www.endingfemalepain.com

Too many women just bare with pains in their body they need no to have. Being responsible for a tiny person just makes you forget that your own well-being is also important. Happy babies need healthy and happy moms! Actually Dads would also argue that they prefer having a healthy, happy wife than one riddled with pain...

I wanted to share 10 easy things to do to get back in shape, take charge of your body again, care for your scar and feel better:

Start moving as soon as possible: there is actually a good reason why nurses in the hospital try to get you to walk as soon as you can stand up. It helps blood circulate better around the surgery area and thus heal quicker. If you can’t walk, at least try to do some ankle pumps. I remember forcing myself to take walks after the surgery and it helped both with healing faster and getting a sense that I was in charge of my own body again.
Take a look at your scar as soon as you can. You will have to learn to live with this new part of yourself, and after all your “special delivery” baby did come from there. Touch it and get to know it, it will later help with your own healing process.
Voice your feelings. It may sound cheesy but talking about how you feel about your scar may help you heal faster and feel better. Some women actually write poetry or paint or use any other means of expression to talk about
Massage your scar! As soon as the staples are out and the steristrips have fallen off, and once your caregiver has given you the go-ahead, try massaging the scar and the area bellow and above with some oil. I love Burt’s Bees baby oil for that, they also have a lovely lemon and Vitamin E oil that works wonders. Isa Herrera also suggested rose oil, which sounded absolutely lovely. In her book she gives different ways to massage the scar and surrounding area to break up adhesions and restore fascia to their former state. Your physiotherapist can guide you in the best ways to massage the area but Isa de Herrera has some very simple massages you can do yourself.
Try a Rebozo massage! This great technique actually makes you feel nurtured and helps restore flexibility and comfort.
Wear a support belt during your postpartum period. It will help you get the proper support and alleviate some of the discomfort. This is something MDs never tell you but it is really, really important to support your abdominal region and back!
Get some exercise! Once your care-giver has given you the go-ahead, start slowly but surely. Exercising will bring back oxygen to your muscles and help you get back in shape. Getting back in shape actually really helps to heal and helps you feel better about your body and about yourself. Don’t forget it may take you some time to regain your pre-pregnancy shape, it took you nine months to put on your weight so it may take as much time to lose it and that’s perfectly OK. Being a mom is really a full-time job, so it may be hard to find even a few minutes to get some exercise in. I found attending Baby and me yoga classes was a great way to get started, it allowed me to have baby with me, get some stretches is and meet other moms! Swimming was also a great way to relax, get some exercise and spend time with baby in the water!
Love your perineum: talk to your physiotherapist. Most women think that because they did not have a vaginal birth means they don’t need to check their perineum but actually everyone should! Sometimes, if you have pushed before having your c-section, your perineum may be stretched. Your physio will tell you where to work and how to properly do your Kegels to avoid prolapses, leaks and other problems that may occur later in your life. The physio will also show you how to massage your scar externally and internally to speed up recovery. I recently learned that most of us don’t properly do our Kegels, so it doesn’t hurt to get a physio to show you how to do them properly.
If you have any pain, talk to you care-provider or your physio. Pain is not something you should put up with, under any circumstances. Pain may also be an early warning sign that something has not healed properly. You need to understand that c-sections are major abdominal surgeries, so there is always a risk of not healing properly, of getting an infection or other complications. Staying attuned to what your body tells you may help you detect things early on and avoid complications down the road. Osteopaths and chiropractors can also help speed up recovery, both for you and baby. Babies can also go through a rough time during a c-section and some babies may experience head and neck pain, leading to difficulties in breastfeeding, sleeping or behavioural complications. An osteopath or a chiropractor can help by gentle manipulations.
Love thyself! Don’t beat yourself up! Many of us feel bad after the c-section. Slow recovery and the fact it’s a bit harder to snap back into shape also sometimes make you feel really blue but remember you’re not alone. Get in touch with other women who have experienced the same thing, get support from the ICAN community and remember that whatever the circumstances of your c-section, you are an amazing woman and mom!

And for those other wonderful mamas who experienced vaginal birth, a lot of those steps actually work for you too, but you can also check out Son of Max's post-partum crotch care 101 post : hilarious but oh so useful!

Artwork by Michele Demont from Birthcut

Medical rape practices : where are the feminists?

2010-01-30T10:29:00.000-08:00

This week, the Globe and Mail published an article about the way med students in Canada are asked to perform internal pelvinc exams to women under anesthesia , unrelated to their surgery. Of course, no one has thought of asking these women for their consent... This unethical practice is absolutely revolting and should be banned right away. Studies have proven that, if asked for their consent, most women will gracefully allow the students to perform the exam. But this? It amounts to no less than violating these women. Something doctors seem to overlook a bit too often, as if their position allowed them to treat women like a piece of meat without feelings or a conscience.

This type of very violent practice can also be seen in labour and delivery rooms around the country, where many women are submitted to a number of unecessary and often painful pelvic exams while birthing their children. It is time for women to say NO to these practices. it is time for the medical world to stop considering that their duty to save lives puts them above respecting their patients' dignity. As Bad Moms club puts it "Bad Moms don't like non-consensual nether-probing", most likely that good moms don't like it either...

You can sign Bad Mom's petition to end this practice here or browse around Twitter tweets with the hashtag #noconsent

More about this issue:

Reducing infant mortality

2010-01-19T14:06:00.000-08:00

Reducing Infant Mortality from Debby Takikawa on Vimeo.

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Breastfeeding takes time or why hanging in there pays off...

2010-01-18T11:47:00.000-08:00

When I first decided to breastfeed my child, I was just starting my pregnancy and knew close to nothing about breastfeeding. My mom wasn’t really able to breastfeed us (in retrospect probably because of the lack of support offered at the time) but I did know of friends who successfully managed to breastfeed for extended periods of time. The only thing I knew was that it was probably best for my child’s health. At first I thought that if I breastfed for three months it would be great. I really thought I would be heading back to work then and would not be able to continue on nursing my child.

During my pregnancy I delved into books, studies and blogs to learn more about the whole thing. I discovered the politics of breastfeeding, found out that nursing was also about taking a stand and that I was probably in for some seriously controversial moments. I also discovered that there are many significant benefits for both the child and the mom.

Breastfeeding has been proven to reduce your risk of breast and ovarian cancer. That is not something I was willing to overlook, being familiar with the toll breast cancer can take on a woman and her family... So the more I read, the more I became convinced breastfeeding was the way to go. Thank God for me, I am a pretty stubborn person because little did I know what a battle it was going to be for me and Liam but today, after close to 6 months, I can say it is a wonderful experience for both of us and I do not regret my decision one bit.

Liam’s birth turned out pretty different from what I was hoping for and instead of giving birth in the comfort of my home, I gave birth in an operating room at the local hospital. Just after my c-section, I was wheeled into a recovery room and handed my beautiful little one for some skin to skin time and to give breastfeeding a try. Now Liam had a pretty rough time coming into the world and his head was probably very sore from being stuck in my pelvis for so long (he was born with a real cone-head!). The nurse who attended to us then was probably not aware of that fact and my doula had to leave us to help my husband out (she drove him back home so he could pick up some essentials for us). This nurse grabbed my baby’s head and started shoving him onto my breast quite violently. (I had flattish nipples at the time so it was difficult for him to properly latch-on) He did not like that a bit and started screaming his lungs out. The trial was a failure. Liam refused to feed that night. The night nurse did manage to get him to latch-on early morning the next day with a much gentler technique. The nurses we had after that were pretty rough and the latching remained a problem, so my midwife told us to try a nipple shield to help draw out my nipples. It worked: Liam got his first real feeds that way. I was pumping away when he was not on my breast but after the c-section I probably had a late onset of real milk. Meanwhile Liam became jaundiced (this is very common in newborns) and the threats began. I was told I would have to supplement him in order to be allowed to return home because his weight loss was slightly on the lower side of the charts. We supplemented with donor milk (BC Women’s hospital is great for that). I was exhausted from my 18 hours of labour and recovering from the c-section. My hormones took me on a roller-coaster of emotions. I was hoping that once home we would be able to slowly wean him off the supplements.

We both tried very hard to get rid of the nipple shield (they are great to help draw out the nipples but the baby does not get as much milk that way) but to no avail, so the vicious circle began, baby was not getting as much milk as he needed and my production began to decrease and the supplements to increase. I was so tired I could not muster the energy to pump as much as I should have.

My mom left and my in-laws arrived to spend a whole month with us. Things changed a bit around the house. I went from nursing freely anywhere to nursing in my room and went from being catered to by my mom to catering to my in-laws’s needs. I was full of guilt, grief and anger regarding my birth. Milk production continued to decrease and we had to start supplementing with formula. Since my in-laws were here, they started giving the bottles of supplement. My mother in-law wanted to be supportive but kept telling me that I probably did not have enough milk and that I should not feel bad about it because she was not able to breastfeed her kids for that reason. I did not reply to her that it was a common myth that mothers don’t have enough milk... We took them out on visits and more and more bottles of formula were involved as I did not feel very comfortable to breastfeed with my nipple shield during our outings. Liam then went on a “breast strike”: he refused the breast for close to two days. I was an emotional wreck. I finally found the courage to talk to my husband about it and he was very helpful. He talked to his parents and got me to call our wonderful doula for help. She spent close to three hours with us and got me to try a SNS, a supplementing nursing system, a little bottle with little tubes you attach to your breast. With this little system, I could give the supplement at the breast, thus triggering my milk production back up.

I spent more time with my baby and less time catering to everyone else in the house. I got in warm baths with Liam so he could find the time and skill to learn to feed with my flattish nipples. Things got better, we got rid of the nipple shield and the supplements slowly began to decrease as my milk production increased. My spirits rose back up. My in-laws left and we were back to just being the three of us.

We went for the 2 months visit with the paediatrician. She told me I would never be able to exclusively breastfeed. God was I ever angry after that appointment! I started pumping like crazy, power-pumping when I had 5 minutes to myself and started galactagogues to help, Momma’s tea and the Lactastim plant tincture from Gaia Garden mainly. At this point I was mainly feeding from my left breast, Liam still having a real hard time with my right breast. I encountered a number of problems linked to bad latch-ons, including really sore and bleeding nipples, blisters and blocked milk ducts. I got hit by a bad episode of mastitis. It was time for me to get the right breast back to work, so I booked an appointment with the lactation clinic at the hospital and after two appointments Liam managed to feed on both sides and the supplements finally disappeared altogether by the time he was three and a half months. I was so happy to tell the paediatrician at our four months visit!

By the time we headed to France for the holidays, I was exclusively breastfeeding and so happy about it! Liam and I had battled hard to learn how to properly breastfeed and I was really proud of both of us. Strangely enough, although everyone in our family kept saying it was wonderful that I was “still” breastfeeding Liam, I kept hearing that, really, by now, I should wean him. Of course, like most breastfed babies, Liam would still wake up at night for at least two feeds, all the contrary of his cousin, who is completely bottle-fed and sleeps though the night. So everyone was basically telling us that if we wanted a good night’s sleep we should just switch to bottles. My grandmother was straightforward enough to tell me that I had made my point, that I was in fact able to breastfeed when everyone thought I wouldn’t be able to but now that Liam was slowly starting on solids it was time for me to wean because when he would have teeth there was no way I would be able to continue nursing him. My sister in-law was quite defensive and kept giving me all the reasons why she did not breastfeed and why for her next kid she would definitely stick to bottles. Most people made it sound like I was making a really huge sacrifice to breastfeed Liam when altogether it is far more convenient to breastfeed than to tote around bottles, sterilizers and expensive formula!

Once more, my husband was great: he kept telling everyone that the World Health Organization actually recommends to breastfeed for two years. I cannot emphasize how important it has been for me to have a supportive husband who is completely on board with the idea of extended breastfeeding.

We were all exhausted from travelling all around the country to see family and relatives and I got hit by another episode of mastitis, this time a lot tougher than my fist episode. There came another round of “see, all the reason for you to wean Liam now that you’re sick”, and “don’t feed on the infected breast” blah blah blah... Once more, we had to supplement, the sheer exhaustion having caused my production to sink yet again. Thankfully, this time I did not give in, and got back on my pump. By the time we took the plane back home to BC, Liam was fully breastfeeding again and I had learned my lesson: there is absolutely no need to listen to anyone else than yourself when it comes to such a personal choice as the way you want to feed your child.

Even if the books and lactation activists will tell you that breastfeeding is easy and painless and that you should proudly nurse in public, we all know it’s not that easy. Some of us need more time to learn the tricks of the trade. Some of us need more support to carry on when things are hard and when doubts become too strong. But there is support out there, there are some amazing women available on websites, in the La Leche League support groups or at your local lactation clinics. Midwives, doulas and lactation consultants can be called for help. With time, you will even manage to nurse in public with comfort and confidence!

And all those efforts are really worth it. Today I look at my kid happily feeding, giving me huge smiles when I pull up my shirt to nurse him and I know I was right to persist in my attempts. Most importantly, he is a very healthy child and I know all the benefits of breast milk will pay on the long run.

So if you are having trouble but really want to breastfeed, hang in there and get help quickly! I know now that things would probably been a lot easier if I had called for help earlier. Solutions exist to most common breastfeeding issues and it sometimes only takes a couple of appointments to correct any problem. And do not ever believe all the BS about formula being just as good as breast milk. Science has proven it once and for all, nothing beats the boobs!

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Pitocin danger

2009-12-03T22:19:00.000-08:00

Oxytocin is a natural hormone present in our bodies. It plays an essential role in the start of labour, triggering the contractions, it may also play an essential role in the bonding between a women and her child. OBs use a synthetic version of this hormone, commonly known as Pitocin, to induce labour in women who are past their due date or have trouble having contractions. I recently discovered that is also considered as a "candy drug" by the OBs, they tend to over-use this drug, creating the perfect circumstances for emergency c-sections. The Unnecesarean has a great article on this, I can only encourage expecting mothers to read it :

I was really shocked to learn that OBs are known to use this drug to artificially create fetal distress and urge moms to undergo the cesarean when their labour is just a tad too long to their liking. It is well known that North-American rates of C-sections are way above what their normal level should be. Such a surgery should not be taken lightly as there are more consequences and risks both for the moms and the babies than with a normal delivery. For women who have already had a c-section, the use of Pitocin has been linked to an increased risk of uterine rupture, which may lead to the death of her unborn child.

Pitocin is also used in active management of the third stage of birth. That means that a woman may receive pitocin after having birthed her child, to help with the expulsion of the placenta. The reason OBs and midwives would use Pitocin in this case is probably to help the mom expulse the placenta quickly and avoid hemmorrhage. Even in this case, Dr. Odent amongst other researchers has proven that this active management of the third stage may indeed interfere with the normal process of birth and lead to more hemmorrhage, exactly what it was suppose to help avoid. (See his article in Midwifery Today)

What I don't understand is why such practices are allowed when all the research tends to show that it is in fact a dangerous practice. How come obstetrics is the only area where medical practices do not rely on up-to-date science but on habits? How can we encourage women to challenge their OBs when they use such practices that endanger them unecessarily?

November was midwifery month

2009-11-30T13:35:00.000-08:00

November was midwifery month. Midwifery practices across the city of Vancouver were offering free workshops on women's health, pregnancy and birth. I actually attended a really interesting workshop on pelvic floor health thanks to my midwives.

Having a midwife during your pregnancy has a number of advantages. The appointments are longer than with an OB-GYN and usually more personalized. Midwives take the time to know you and answer all those questions that come bubbling up. You are assured that your midwife will be there the day of your delivery and you don't have to worry about having a total stranger doing your delivery. Midwifes attend home births and offer home visits for the post-partum period. They can order the same blood works, tests and ultrasounds as doctors. Most of them have a library of books and DVDs you can borrow. They offer excellent support for breastfeeding. They are always available for some advice or a quick chat. They offer a humane and respectful and nurturing care for the expectant mothers. Research has proved that midwives have a lower rate of interventions during labour and delivery, resulting in healthier babies and moms.

Unfortunately, midwives are in danger of disappearing in BC. UBC offers a reknown program in midwifery but its funding has been cut and it won't be able to train as many midwives next year, even when more and more women choose midwifery care and when they are often the only ones available in remote rural areas of the province.

On the 24th of November this year, moms, doulas, midwives and midwifery students took to the streets of Vancouver and Victoria to ask the Province to continue supporting midwifery. They protested in front of the parliament in Victoria and on the Burrard bridge in Vancouver.

Defending midwifery is about saving tax dollars but most of all it's about defending a safe alternative for women to deliver with respect and dignity.

Even if my own delivery did not exactly happen the way I wanted, I really appreciated the professional attitude of my midwives and their support. I will definitely turn to midwifery care for a next pregnancy.

Liam's birth: from homebirth to cesarean

2009-11-29T16:39:00.000-08:00

Birth is what many women say it is: a life-changing experience, a journey beyond all expectations… As an important part of a women’s life, it truly reveals what we are capable of, our inner strengths, our most hidden fears and our capacity for resilience. Liam’s journey from my womb to our outside world was a powerful experience for both of us: it took us through moment of grace and moments of fear. Today, as we gaze into each other’s eyes, we find solace and peace and I truly understand what moms had told me about falling so totally in love with one’s baby. As an ethologist, I had observed animals defend their young fiercely and now I can relate to all those mammals and their maternal instincts. Much of becoming a mother has to do with embracing one’s inner animal.

So many of the birth stories we hear are about fear and pain. Although labour and birth are very intense, I feel we should tell their stories as tales of empowerment and discovery of inner strength. I wanted to share my story because it took me through many things, but despite the hardships, I don’t consider it a “horror” story. I consider it as an experience I needed to live to better understand and respect myself.

I had the joy of having a wonderful pregnancy, no morning sickness and a sense of being energized by the transformations within me. I trusted my body to know what had to be done and it did wonderfully throughout the nine months. I only had to endure a bit of swelling in my feet and legs at the very end, probably due to the unholy heat in Vancouver… My husband and I had planned a homebirth, a waterbirth. I wanted to bring this new soul into our world in a gentle and intimate manner. I had done much reading, from Michel Odent’s work on respectful and gentle birthing to Ina May Gaskin’s famous Spiritual Midwifery. I had chosen a group of midwives for my care and a wonderful doula to be our guides in this essential moment. I watched many movies of gentle home births, including Orgasmic Birth and felt compelled. I felt so confident I would give birth at home that I didn’t even pack an “emergency” hospital bag. Instead, I stocked up all the items needed for the home birth, spending countless hours on the Mama Goddess site to pick out what I needed. I had read all the research and trusted that a home birth would mean less intervention and a beautiful experience for both me and the baby. In retrospect, I focused a lot on the “techniques” of giving birth and less on empowering myself and preparing myself to fight back if necessary. Little did I know that my birth would turn out very different from what I had dreamt of, expected and prepared…

Contractions, or “rushes” as I prefer to call them, started slowly on a Monday. I continued with my day to day routines, even finding time to take a hike in Lynn Canyon with my family. On Wednesday night, I started feeling things picking up and by 2:30 in the morning, I knew the real thing was starting. My husband and I managed to grab a few hours of sleep before calling my midwife and my doula around 6:30. By then, I had entered a whole new realm. Before, I thought I would have the time and energy to prepare everything for the birth, set out the supplies and cleanse the room with a sage smudge. How wrong I was… Instead, I found myself focused entirely on what was happening inside of me, leaving my husband and my mom to run around the house looking for all the supplies.

As the rushes became stronger, my mind shifted to an altered state. I’m not sure whether it was my hypno-birthing preparation, or the yoga breathing but I was solely focused on what was happening within my body, embracing each rush as it came and giving in to it. I used chairs and the toilet a lot! (Not very glamorous but very effective!) Sitting backwards and leaning on the back of the chair and the toilet helped a lot with dealing with the strong energy going through my whole body. I switched to the shower at some point and found myself on all fours, letting the warm water bring warmth and relaxation. By then both my doula, the wonderful Kim and Kelly, my extraordinary midwife, had arrived. They let me work through the rushes without intervening, which was wonderful. I was naked and felt like an animal, reconnecting with my wild side.

My mom and my husband set up the birthing pool and managed to provide the midwife with all the supplies we had prepared beforehand. Soft music was playing: orca sounds and relaxing cello and harp. I made it to the pool and from there on I was definitely in another world. I did not notice anything that was happening around me. Being in the birthing pool was wonderful; I totally relaxed into the moment and let my body do its hard work. I cannot say the process was painful, it felt more like an intense workout. My support team provided a relaxed and calm environment and we let the events slowly unfold. My husband was very close to me and helped me through each of my contractions. We walked together, rocked together, he spent many hours wiping my brow with a cold washcloth or adding warm water to the pool. I am grateful to have such a wonderful man as my partner and as my son’s dad… I managed to dilate almost fully and everything felt just right, this was the most natural process I had ever experienced. Fleeting thoughts passed through my mind as I worried for my dad and sister, stuck in their room and waiting for the baby to be born, no one had had breakfast or lunch and I felt a bit bad for them. At the same time, as I toiled through birth, I would sometimes stop and think “will I be able to push?” before diving right back in.

At some point in the afternoon, Kelly asked me to get up in the pool to monitor Liam’s heartbeat, as she had been doing regularly since the early hours of the morning. She could not pick up anything and asked me to get out of the pool and back on my bed so she could assess both of us better. A sense of panic started to reach my brain. Was my little one in danger? Things went very fast then. Kelly got me on oxygen to help the baby, his heartbeat had slowed down drastically and she was worried the cord might have gotten pinched at some point. Following the emergency procedure, she called the hospital to keep them informed and tell them to be prepared for us just in case and called the ambulance. I fell out of my hypnotic state and the internal exams proved to be quite painful then. Panic washed on all of us. My dad became quite restless waiting for the ambulance… I was grateful to hear that Liam’s heartbeat was going back up slowly but very disappointed to hear Kelly tell me that we still had to go to the hospital as a precautionary measure to monitor his heart more closely. I was also a bit feverish and she was worried I was getting dehydrated. I barely had time to put on a robe and we were off in the paramedics’ truck. I have to say the paramedics were very gentle and kind and did not strap me down. Kelly rode in the ambulance with me while my husband, my doula and my mom rushed to gather some essentials for the hospital and followed us.

We reached the hospital. I was assessed once more and a monitoring device was attached to my belly. By then, the panic and probably the disappointment of having left the comfort of my home led my labour to slow down a fair bit. I was given an IV to keep me hydrated. I just hated being strapped to all the electronics and having to wear one of those horrible hospital gowns… I hated all the invasive exams I had to go through. I truly felt like my power to give birth was taken away from me…

It was time for me to push Liam out now and we both set out to do just that. I wasn’t yet fully dilated but was instructed to start pushing. I did not feel right, my body wasn’t ready, nor was I. The OB-GYN and my midwife suggested putting me on Pitocin to get my labour going again and help me push more efficiently. I did not want the Pitocin. I should have fought against it, but gave in. The Pitocin made the rushes more intense and also more painful. By then I started understanding why so many women want the epidural… I resisted asking for any pain relief. I wanted this birth to be as natural as possible, despite the hospital setting, the IV and the Pitocin. I pushed for close to three hours. We tried different positions. I have to say the hospital bed did not help! It seems like the Pitocin made the rushes erratic and too intense to deal with. I finally managed to ask to be unhooked from the monitoring and allowed to move about. Once more, my most efficient pushing happened on the toilet, in a position that was not supine. I managed to get Liam down a fair bit but somehow in the process he got stuck. Was my pelvis too narrow for him? By then I was getting very tired from the effort and from the pain. Another OB-GYN came to assess me and started talking about the different options, including forceps, with all the risks implied for both Liam and me. I knew for sure I did not want the forceps. I was close to crying then and very close to hitting people! The OB-GYN suggested the possibility of the C-section. I started feeling very helpless and very inadequate. Why wasn’t I able to push this baby out when we both had such a nice labour at home? Did Liam feel how much I resented being in the hospital? The OB-GYN was kind enough to explain how the procedure would go and the risks and benefits entailed. Liam was probably getting tired and I was getting very exhausted from the long hours of pushing. It was probably safer for both of us to go with the C-section. They were worried Liam would go into fetal distress. A strong contraction came in at that moment and I started yelling at the medical team to go ahead and get it over with. I am grateful to all of them for remaining very calm and suggesting I wait for the contraction to be over to discuss it before rushing to any decision. My husband, my mom and I were allowed a few minutes to discuss it. By then I felt helpless and very disappointed with myself. Was I not strong enough to give birth to this little one? My doula attempted to tell me that I was allowed to get mad, probably implying that I should get mad, reclaim my power and give birth the way I felt like. My mom, midwife and husband all reassured me that I had done my very best and that it would be safer for both of us to go with the surgery. I gave in, once more. I let my power be taken away from me.

The medical team told me to stop pushing, which was very hard with the contractions still coming in very strong and my brain having switched back to full awareness of the pain. If I could have hit someone I would have! Stop pushing? What a joke! I asked for the laughing gas. The Nitrous Oxide did not make me laugh but made me sleepy enough for me to recover a bit from the pain and the exhaustion. I think my brain just decided to switch me off to avoid the emotions running too high… I had to wait close to an hour for the OR to be available and for the anesthesiologist to come and prep me for the surgery. He was also very kind to explain everything and to crack a few jokes to keep my spirits up. I was strapped down on the table, hooked up to another set of devices and given a spinal anesthesia. The anesthesiologist added a bit of morphine to send me to another world. I was still very much awake and aware. Finally, they let my husband in and proceeded with the surgery. Within minutes Liam was out of my belly and handed over to my husband, crying his lungs out. My husband was able to come and show me my little one very quickly while I was being stitched up. I felt like crying my eyes out: my little one was so perfect and beautiful! He was born in his water bag, as my water never broke. Somehow, that made me feel better. He was cushioned throughout the process and born in water, protected. I could not touch him, but I drank him up with my eyes, amazed at his scrunched little face, at all his perfect features, snuggly covered in a blanket.

After I was wheeled out to the recovery room and my baby handed to me for some skin to skin contact and his first breastfeeding. It was very emotional for both of us. We had been robbed of our first moments together and could not take our gaze off each other. I spent most of that first night in the hospital holding Liam very close to me.

I was lucky to recover very quickly from the surgery. Within the next day I could get up and walk around my room and was able to return home within 3 days. Breastfeeding was a long and difficult battle for both of us but we made it. I do not regret hanging in there to give him that very special present.

I still go through ups and downs, regretting some decisions and regretting I did not stand up for myself and fight back the hospital system. I did not need to be confined to that bed; I most certainly did not need to be hooked on the monitor for so long, I did not need to have so many invasive exams. My body was working fine without the Pitocin and I should have insisted my wishes to be respected. Nevertheless, my baby is healthy and beautiful; I feel so much joy and love when I look at him. My husband promised us that he would set up the birthing pool again and put both of us in it, to grieve the missing moments of this birth.

I do hope that if we have other children, I will be able to have a natural birth, hopefully in a home setting again. I do not regret for one moment having attempted a home birth, I really saw the difference between those very intimate, special moments laboring at home and the panic and pain I felt at the hospital. Don’t get me wrong, hospital births are usually fine when well prepared and interventions DO save lives every day. I just believe they are sometimes and often unnecessary and not used to the best interest of the mama and the baby. Birth is naturally slow, it does not obey rules of on-the-clock medical teams, it goes at its own pace. I just wish women were allowed to follow that pace, different for each one of them, and be respected if it sometimes takes a bit longer…

I am grateful though for the very professional attitude of my midwife and for the unbelievable support provided by my doula, my husband and my mom. I don’t think I would have made it so far without them.

Below is the list of things I would have done differently in retrospect. I don’t want to linger on regrets but wish to use these as teachings for my next birth:

I would have spent more time learning about possible interventions and preparing myself.
I would have prepared an emergency hospital bag with the things I needed to feel comfortable and good, instead of finding myself in a horrible hospital gown without the reassuring things from home.
I could have spent more time working on my narrow pelvis with an osteopath and healing the hidden wounds in my body, nurturing and loving my body instead of challenging it and loathing it as I sometimes did.
I should have better explained my wishes to my husband and family and insisted on having a slow and natural birth.
I could have waited to get in the birth pool, although it was very soothing, it probably slowed my labour a bit.
I would have hydrated myself better.
I could have spent more time talking to my baby as he was coming down instead of focusing on managing the intensity of the rushes, I could have reassured him and made him feel safe enough to make his way down.
I would have made sure there was food available for my support team
I could have told my dad and sister to go on with their day, eat and go out, instead of letting them be cooped in their room, stressed and anxious.
I would have resisted the constant monitoring and invasive procedures and asserted more clearly my wishes.
I should have refused the pitocin so far along in my labour, it did not help and probably caused my baby to get stuck as neither he nor I could work with those unnatural and erratic contractions.
I should have allowed myself to get mad

Birth is a journey, a teaching, a way to discover what is hidden in each of us. For me it was a journey to learn and understand who I really am and to discover that I had strength far beyond what I thought. I am a strong and resilient woman! Yeah! My son is showing signs that he will be a headstrong and steadfast person. He is a little warrior. He also had a precocious smile, which I take for a sign of his great resilience. We both came out stronger and our bond is precious and beautiful.

A few months after his birth I did study my medical records to try and understand what went wrong. I was probably looking for someone to blame. The thing is, it was a set of circumstances, I cannot blame myself, the OB, the nurses or my midwife for what happened. Life is full of unexpected and so is birth. Today, I view this birth as a transformative journey, it made me more aware of what I wanted as a woman and as a mother and it has set me on a road to become a professional childbirth educator and doula.

Welcome - Bienvenue

2009-11-29T09:42:00.000-08:00

I decided to start this blog after my son's birth. I had carefully planned almost every detail of his home water birth, but had not really planned that things could take a wrong turn. Liam was born by c-section on a 24th of July, after a series of unlucky circumstances. Despite this slightly disappointing birth, he was born healthy and ready to take on life, head on! My life has since turned upside down and I'm discovering a whole new realm, the realm of mamahood. I wanted to share some of my discoveries and talk about those little things no one ever tells us about until you join the very private club of mamas... I have set out to become a childbirth educator and a doula. I will also share some of my readings, rants and hopes on these pages. I hope you will embark with me on this new journey!